Jeremy Clarkson Spews Sense

Article Here

I have nothing to add. Sorry. I don't want to distract you from this rare glimmer of brilliance.

Anti-Boarding Tirade by Tw*t in "The Times"

Here

Look at the comments section at the bottom of the page and you'll understand what I mean.

I think this is her email address: julia.noakes@thejdncompany.com

PSB

Movies

The Pursuit of Happyness was great except for the rubbish ending. I wanted to see him rich, damn it! 3/5

Mr. Bean's holiday was much better than I thought, it was sweet but not twee and funny but not any stupider than normal Bean. 5/5

PSB

The Social Standing of Surnames

Using the method in the post below I came up with this:

CHOLMONDELEY (pronounced chumley) 5%
CECIL 3%
FORTESCUE 0%
WADSWORTH 63%
MATHEW 2%
MATHEWS 13%
COCKBURN (pronounced coburn) 51%
WINDSOR 34%
FANSHAWE 0%
GOLDBERG 0%
GOLDSTEIN 0%
GOLDSMITH 13%
KHAN 98%
SMITH 72%
STEIN 1%
STEINBERG 0%
FORD 35%
WILLIAMS 50%
SMELLIE 39%
DICK 60%
COCK 6%
LEIGH 24%
WHITE 40%
BLACK 65%
BLACKADDER 51%
SIMPSON 70%
CADBURY 0%
RILEY 91%
WRIGLEY 36%
JONES 44%
PIMLEY 18%

Luxury Hotel Status

Using this I have found out the average social standing of people with luxury hotel related names.

Sharp (Founder Four Seasons) - 32% with higher social standing
Carlyle - 59%
Carlton - 70%
Marriott - 70%
Sheraton - 78%
Hilton - 84%

Council Housing

For those of you wondering: the reason I hate council housing is because it means a high concentration of poor people in one area, bringing the whole area down by association. Poor people are poor because generally, (with emphasis on the generally before somebody starts sending me hate mail) they are stupid.

Think about it - poorness isn't directly genetic.

Yanks, please click here.

Why?

Why must people feel the need to?:

Claim not to be upper class or even upper-middle class even though they most definitely are. As if they will be accused of being a "toff" if they answer the question honestly.

Mistrust people of higher social status, wealth, better background or accent. Personally, this is something that attacks me daily - like some sort of badly-trained German Shepherd. This is because actors and narrators in advertisements have to be "common" or working-class simpletons will:

1. Think it's too expensive.
2. Believe they're being talked down to.
3. Will become bitter as "posh-talk" will remind them of their stupidity, lower social class etc..

Examples of working class orientated adverts:

The Iceland adverts that depict that dreadful common-as-muck mother who's too stupid and lazy to make her children a decent meal.

The Minstrels "sophisticated silliness" advert which depicts two women making fun of connoisseurs.

The Orange adverts where the singing narrator person thing drops the letter t in the words: credit and it.

The Cheestrings advert depicting a comprehensive schoolboy dancing and miming badly. He ends up eating some American cheese-ette rubbish before saying "cheers, mate" to his friend and then the laughably stupid "you just gotta" slogan appears.

The MFI adverts depicting working class idiots mistaking the contemptible quality MFI model-rooms for their own council flats.

Decorate themselves in "bling" to make themselves look wealthier when in actuality are proving exactly the opposite.

Make fun of "PSBs" (Public School Boys) as if we are all titled, toffee-nosed, thick, inbred, everything-handed-to-us-on-a-silver-platter prats. PSBs run the country, top businesses and have a greater chance of success in life than grammar and comprehensive educated people. The fact of the matter is: Most (more than 75%) PSBs have money and intelligence in order to be a PSB.


PSB